Bring it On Pre Vibes – Park Ave 5K

“Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome.”

Brene Brown

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Hubby and I at my fav place to run – My Kenya in FL!

Hello 2019!!! How’s that new year’s resolution going?

I can tell you that mine isn’t going. I don’t necessarily do new year’s resolution. I go one day at a time; creating new goals as I go along and as I see fit – a day, a week, a month, a semester – at a time. But I have the big picture in mind!

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First things first with the new coach, or should I say, THE COACH! Yes, Dave is THE COACH! His philosophy – the more you do something the better you will become. That means, more racing in my calendar. So let’s see where we are at with a quick-EZ 5K and go from there.

I chose to race Park Avenue 5K. It’s s local race, simple, small and relatively cheap. I heard it was nice, great post-race goodies from Seasons 52 and a medal. Of course, I would not race that doesn’t do chip time.

RACE PLAN:

  • Do the regular shenanigans I do for every workout. Nothing new here.
  • MILE 1 – 7:40 = settle in and relax
  • MILE 2 – 7:30 – 7:35 = focus on the mile I am in.
  • MILE 3 – sub 7:30 = let’s go, get tough!

Based on my previous workouts, the splits are doable. I didn’t think I could not hit these splits. However, on race day, things turned out very different.

My last race was March 2018. Then I got injured. This was my first race of the year, first post injury, first 5K in 2 years, and first with a new coach. I didn’t think that anxiety would get to me, but the sucker did. I was nervous. I was late. I was looking for a bathroom with 15-minutes to start the race. I made it to the start line but not to the START where I should be lined up. Yup, in the back of the pack with the people that want to walk, walk/race with their dogs and moms with the strollers – that’s where I was. I am going to stop right here because you know where I am going with this.

MILE 1 – 8:48 = Gee, I am lucky I even got a sub-9 pace for the first mile after dodging people back-and-forth and wasting energy.

MILE 2 – 8:00 = WOHOO, 8:00 even! Ahhh… but the effort going into this, it was not fair! It wasn’t fair I felt as if I was holding my heart and lungs on my hands for just an 8:00 pace. At this point, the entire race turned into a survival-mode; wishing for it to be over soon and, for making sure that I didn’t make a fool of myself. And by making a fool of myself I meant, get that damn PR by all means.

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Really trying not make a full of myself – a PR by all means is a must!

MILE 3 – 7:44 = Where’s that finish line? Where??? I pushed and I pushed, but it didn’t feel I had energy in me. My legs felt heavy, my heart and lungs were burning, and my legs were begging to stop. But my ego wasn’t about to allow this to happen. No freakin way! I focused on breathing. With perhaps .40 mile to the finish, I heard this guy encouraging his friend to push and to pick up pace. I said: let’s go, let’s do this, I need help too! His friend didn’t respond to any of the pleading, but he ended up joining me and eventually pacing me to the finish. It was so nice to find a stranger that actually helped me to focus on my breathing and pick up my pace. He stepped back with less than .10 of mile of crossing the finish line to help his friend. Crossing the finish line never felt so good!

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.12 – 6:43 It’s done. It’s over. Thank goodness I didn’t make a fool of myself. Never, Never give up! It’s a 20 seconds PR, I know I can do lot better than this, but for today, this was the best I could give.

25:20 / 8:07 / / 10th in AG

Next, please!

“I don’t have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness – it’s right in front of me if I’m paying attention and practicing gratitude.”

Brene Brown

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2018 In a Nutshell

“I want to be in the arena. I want to be brave with my life. And when we make the choice to dare greatly, we sign up to get our asses kicked. We can choose courage or we can choose comfort, but we can’t have both. Not at the same time.”

Brene Brown

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I’ve postponed writing this piece of the blog for six longass months now. I was trying to figure out a nicely way to put it; I wasn’t ready to write about my injury; I didn’t want to write about my injury and the missed opportunity to toe-line at Baystate marathon; I was busy with work and personal life; it was the holidays that came and went in a blink of an eye, and so many other things. But I’ve finally set my mind to it, sat down and started typing… typing whatever it came to mind without thinking and stressing whether it sounds pretty, fancy, appropriate or correct.

Without further ado…here it goes. The last five months of 2018 In a Nutshell and bullet points.

  • July – closed out the month with a bang of 140 freakin hot-humid miles. Summer in Florida was on the verge of peaking; thus, about to, or probably had it already, broke my body with its relentless heat and humidity. Yay! Happy Birthday, Celia! 40 never looked so good and strong, too!

 

  • August – heading to my second run of the month which was supposed to be a 10-miler with fast finish. It’s August 3, hot and humid as hell, stated well but my calves felt tight within the first .25 mile, especially my left. It had happened before, and it usually takes a good 2-3 miles to warm up and let the legs adapt to the high humidity and heat. Stop / Stretch / Run / Repeat was the theme of this run. There was no flow, I was tired and part of me still believed that I just needed to give it time and a few more miles of warm up. My kind hubby was on the bike to get his exercise and to support me along the way with company, fuel and hydration. I was getting concerned because I could see his frustration due to lack of flow and consistence with my running. Close to mile 4, I felt my left leg losing strength and did a awkward bend. Before then and thereafter, the pain was intolerable. I was in denial. I stopped. I ran. I stopped and ran some more until I called it quit at mile 4. When you know that you have to walk to your car because of the pain, you know something isn’t right. And you know it’s horrible as tears dropped down your eyes mixed with sweat.

 

  • Mid-August – A week rest didn’t help. Physical therapy didn’t help. Massage didn’t help. A test run was a failure. Off to the doctor I went, got some medicine and an order for an MRI. Treated for tendinitis for which the medicine should had worked within the next 3-4 days, it turns out that it wasn’t working. I knew then it was something worst as I wore the exam gown to get my MRI done in tears of sadness and despair. The results are out, went to my doctor to find out what I already knew – a left tibial stress fracture adjacent to the knee. “Yep, you have a stress fracture. I am sorry. It’s a common injury for runners and athletes. Even the elites get it”, said Dr. Mason, attempting to make me feel better. What’s next? Rest and recover, and some light cross training for the next 8-10 weeks. And no, you can not run, much less, race Baystate. That will have to be for next year.
  • September – after going through all the raw emotions of an injured athlete – DENIAL, ANGER, BARGAINING, DEPRESSION and ACCEPTANCE, I finally started moving on to the mental healing process. I started to plan my Saturdays mornings as if I were to have my long run on the schedule. First Saturday of the month, I did a 75-minute hot yoga class, which was as draining as running in the FL head and humidity. The rest of the month was filled with bike rides and adventuring into a new sport – road cycling. I love everything about road cycling. My favorite is climbing. My husband and I had a great time exploring our hilliest area nearby. I finally filled out the void of running with the hope that cycling was going to help me stay sane and in shape for running. Strength training and physical therapy was my new norm during the week. I am extremely grateful to my physical therapist, Ed, for helping me get back to health.

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  • October – new challenges, new opportunities. It was time for me to face my fear of water. I started to take swim lessons with coach Liesl. I love her. For the first time I felt comfortable in the pool and I was able to swim into the deeper side the pool at my own home. I also did many swim drills at the LA Fitness pool. I am eager to the possibility of completing a TRI in the near future. As I continued healing, I was able to run 30 miles for this month. Every day has been a step into the right direction.

 

  • November – more road cycling, more swim lessons and drills, more strength training, more physical therapy AND a new run coach. A friend once shared that when something you’ve not planned for happens, see it as an opportunity. I have been meditating on that perspective since my injury. Road cycling, swimming, more focus on strength training and physical therapy have all been a new opportunity for me. Practicing yoga was another opportunity that I’ve embraced. But one of the biggest opportunities this injury brought was the opportunity to work with Coach Dave at Ame For It. Coach Dave is truly a top of the line coach, and most importantly, a kind person. He cares. He cares about people and he cares about his athletes. Through our first phone conference, I knew immediately that I wanted him to be my coach and to guide to Hopkinton to Boston – and beyond. November progressed on track and I closed the month with 67 miles.

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  • December – December really felt like the new year for me. I started working with Dave and I could feel the difference his workouts made. His attention to detail and coaching on the mental aspect of training – not just the physical, is remarkable. His approach is always a workout at a time, a run at a time. I’ve been learning that since I started practicing meditation prior to the injury. As I started to be more consistent with running, a new challenge rose – trying to fit in all the extra-curricular training with running. I’m still learning to balance it out. December miles – 91!

 

CONCLUSION: 2018 was a badass year! It wasn’t how I had planned, but everything felt in the right place at the right time. I learned so much about myself and the most important thing I’ve learned was TO LET IT GO. LET GO OF ATTACHMENT! Baystate marathon was an attachment. Miles ran per month was an attachment. PR in every race was an attachment. This injury has taught different ways to care for my body from when rest is needed to proper nutrition. I learned what I really want from running. I do not just want to quality and run Boston. I want a lifetime of running. The only way to live that is by being present a run at a time, a day at a time. I know what my goal is; the rest will take care of itself as long as I show up and care for my body mindfully.

But just out of curiosity, I closed 2018 with 1,057 miles as opposed to 2017 with 1,028. Letting go of attachment is giving bigger results – and I am loving the process with so much gratitude.

Love the process!

“Sometimes the bravest and most important thing you can do is just show up.”

Brene Brown